Less Restless???

Certain current situations haven't been resting well with me... That is one reason why I haven't been writing all that much. I have serious issuses with sickness and death, both of which I have encountered recently in family and friendships. Probably because of my imperfection more than anything else I have really been wrestling with God over a few things.

Today, however, was a day of peace in my life in many ways - not just because situations were resloved - more because I believe I have remembered more of who I am in God. I have a few areas in my life where I am experiencing some restlessness (if you know me then this may not be a shocker)... Not anxiousness... not anger (Jeff)... just restlessness...

My dad has been going through a lot and I have trouble being cool with that (even though I know God is at work in the situation). I feel as though he has had a rough hand in life and sometimes I feel as though things are just getting heavier. I want to speak truth into his situation and encourage him. I want to remind him that God has a plan and it is for Himself to be glorified - not for everything to make sense to us. On the other hand... I don't want to be his pastor... I want to be his son.

Today he called me and told me he had been spending some time with God and realized he had been being selfish. He said recently he had been so focused on himself and his situation he forgot that his life really wasn't about him... It was about what God is doing... He also told me he was going to hang out with his pastor for a while and talk through some things. I could barely hold back the tears. Sometimes you just feel God in someone's life at work. I told him I loved him and that was the best news I could have gotten today. - Praise be to God...

I also had coffee with some friends today, one of which I hadn't talked to in a while. He immediately sensed my tenseness (about some other stuff) and proceeded to make fun of me for prolly half the time we were together. Through our laughs though I received a peace about my restlessness. He didn't make me feel bad about it... Almost like a, "You must be normal..." You see, I have been getting frustrated at myself for not just going with the flow and somehow forgot that it's ok to be a little confused sometimes... Our story of faith is filled with others who have been somewhat lost even when they were found and that has been honored by God. - Father help me to follow closely...

Lastly, the two things that have no resolve, my ipod quit working (more on this later... it magically started working again) and my wife is out of town for the night (which is why I am still up at 12:15 in the morning - can't sleep)... - both of those things = bad

Anyways, I find peace in remembering it's ok for things to not make sense. I don't have to have everything "fixed" or "figured out". I know I am on some kind of journey... A good friend reminded me today to continue to use this energy to give these things over to God in prayer and I will continue...


God we ask..
Breathe peace... Breathe Your peace on us... So we might breathe You deep...

Love and Peace,

-J