Less Restless???

Certain current situations haven't been resting well with me... That is one reason why I haven't been writing all that much. I have serious issuses with sickness and death, both of which I have encountered recently in family and friendships. Probably because of my imperfection more than anything else I have really been wrestling with God over a few things.

Today, however, was a day of peace in my life in many ways - not just because situations were resloved - more because I believe I have remembered more of who I am in God. I have a few areas in my life where I am experiencing some restlessness (if you know me then this may not be a shocker)... Not anxiousness... not anger (Jeff)... just restlessness...

My dad has been going through a lot and I have trouble being cool with that (even though I know God is at work in the situation). I feel as though he has had a rough hand in life and sometimes I feel as though things are just getting heavier. I want to speak truth into his situation and encourage him. I want to remind him that God has a plan and it is for Himself to be glorified - not for everything to make sense to us. On the other hand... I don't want to be his pastor... I want to be his son.

Today he called me and told me he had been spending some time with God and realized he had been being selfish. He said recently he had been so focused on himself and his situation he forgot that his life really wasn't about him... It was about what God is doing... He also told me he was going to hang out with his pastor for a while and talk through some things. I could barely hold back the tears. Sometimes you just feel God in someone's life at work. I told him I loved him and that was the best news I could have gotten today. - Praise be to God...

I also had coffee with some friends today, one of which I hadn't talked to in a while. He immediately sensed my tenseness (about some other stuff) and proceeded to make fun of me for prolly half the time we were together. Through our laughs though I received a peace about my restlessness. He didn't make me feel bad about it... Almost like a, "You must be normal..." You see, I have been getting frustrated at myself for not just going with the flow and somehow forgot that it's ok to be a little confused sometimes... Our story of faith is filled with others who have been somewhat lost even when they were found and that has been honored by God. - Father help me to follow closely...

Lastly, the two things that have no resolve, my ipod quit working (more on this later... it magically started working again) and my wife is out of town for the night (which is why I am still up at 12:15 in the morning - can't sleep)... - both of those things = bad

Anyways, I find peace in remembering it's ok for things to not make sense. I don't have to have everything "fixed" or "figured out". I know I am on some kind of journey... A good friend reminded me today to continue to use this energy to give these things over to God in prayer and I will continue...


God we ask..
Breathe peace... Breathe Your peace on us... So we might breathe You deep...

Love and Peace,

-J

Fitting for today...

A friend of mine sent me an email this morning with this quote. It's fitting for today and the words have aroma of truth.... I felt it was worth sharing.

Enjoy

-J

"Make a career of humanity...and you will make a greater person of yourself,
a greater nation of your country, and a finer world to live in."
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Last Night...

Our worship gathering last night at Hungry was amazing. We were looking at a passage were Jesus says, "I did not come to judge the world, but to save it." I have to tell you, there is something beautiful in sharing that with people. Something beautiful in saying that Jesus came here to restore your life, he came to restore this world. Whether it's your first time hearing that or you hear it all the time, when you slow down and let it sink in... Thank-you God...

Jeff made the point the we don't necessarily need someone else to judge us. I see what he means... if you're like me then you know you're at least a little screwed up. I find peace, love, and encouragement knowing that it's those moments where Jesus is saying, "I came to offer you salvation... a rescue from a much emptier and meaningless life..."

I pray this week we can all rest in those words of Christ... I hope we get that last part of Him offering us a salvation and that we would come to know what that means in its fullest. I also pray for those areas of our life where we find ourselves judging, that we would take on the words and heart of Christ and realize we too are here not to judge but to save the world... I believe this plays a large part in the prayer of Jesus to our Father... "Thy Kingdom come..."

Love and Peace,

-J

Do yourself a favor...

Listen to this band...


Came accross a single last week so I took a chance and downloaded their CD "How to Save a Life" from itunes... Seriously... if you have some money you want to spend on itunes, get this CD...

Style... well, they're just flat out smooth... smooth and catchy rock... great balance of piano and guitar... you'll look forward to the next time you get in your car to listen... great depth lyrically...

Just in case so you don't miss it...
http://www.thefray.net/

if you've come accross any good music lately, feel free to let me know...

much more awake today,

-J

Sometimes...

i just get real tired... the kinda tired where you're not sleepy, just heavy feeling... but not like overweight...

i guess i feel like in this life i want to do so much... only i feel as though i am only capable of doing so little... i want to make the world a better place only i am part of the problem... i want people to see God through me though i am sometimes ashamed for someone to look at me...

i wonder if me feeling tired sometimes comes from me trying to be something i am not... trying to be a perfect friend, a perfect husband, a perfect leader (if you are my friend/wife/co-worker then you know i am far from these - hah)... i hate getting hit in the face with the fact that i could make mistakes... i feel as though i should have my stuff together better than i do...

i don't know where i get this idea from that i can't make mistakes but it does make me, well, tired...

as i sit and write this though, I am forced to realize it is my own short comings that gently pointed me towards our God anyways... it was the realization that this picture of my life and more importantly the world was not "right" without Him...

so in this moment like many moments before i ask for God to remind me who i am... that i am a child of God... that my perfection comes through what Christ did, not what I do... i ask him to gently offer His embrace... for His comfort... for His peace... i ask him to remind me that i am not meant to be one who does not need a Savior... that i, alone, am not meant to be one who is a "perfect" anything...

i pray tonight as i am tired... that i would rest easy... i pray i could accept my short comings... and maybe even be thankful for them pointing me towards my need for a Savior... i pray i would keep in perspective that i am only a follower, but that i would follow Him closely...

so the journey continues...