Today I found this here...
I cried... really funny...
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
5. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
6. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
7. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
8. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
9. When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.
10. It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
11. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
12. Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
13. Chuck Norris uses all seven letters in Scrabble... Every turn.
14. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
15. Chuck Norris has perfected faster-than-light travel. He won't give the patent to NASA until all of their employees grow beards.
16. Chuck Norris does not use spellcheck. If he happens to misspell a word, he simply changes the acutal spelling of it.
17. Chuck Norris can cause a forest fire just using the magical properties of his beard, he can then, if he chooses, extinguish the fire by roundhouse kicking it.
18. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a waitress because his steak didn't have a beard.
19. Chuck Norris laughed so hard while watching Black Hawk Down that he had to leave the theater. Well, he didn't have to, obviously, but he was feeling especially generous that day because he had already killed so many people.
Hope you enjoy...
-J
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005
This Morning...
I awoke this morning almost unable to talk... I have had a sore throat/cold settling in for the last few days and yesterday, we at Hungry, had our weekly worship gathering which I usually receive part of the blessing of leading worship. I think between the rehearsal and actual gathering it finished my voice off completely - hah.
So all morning I've not really been able to speak all that much and it has forced me into some reflection - amazing what happens when you're just quiet a bit. So right now I sit amazed at the God of the universe. Amazed at a love and grace that reaches me right where I am, knowing I deserve none of it. Amazed that it compels me to want to live out His dream for this world and that gives me peace and purpose - where otherwise I have none... amazed at the blessings in my life and that compels me to want to be a blessing to others... I have friends and family that are so dear... As I write I am almost in tears and I am overwhelmed with something... maybe love, maybe grace, maybe the presence of God...
However this morning came to be, I am thankful... chances are if you are reading this then in some crazy way you are a part of my reflection this morning. So thankyou... I pray we would all continue to be drawn into the light of who God is and how is working...
Love and Peace,
-J
So all morning I've not really been able to speak all that much and it has forced me into some reflection - amazing what happens when you're just quiet a bit. So right now I sit amazed at the God of the universe. Amazed at a love and grace that reaches me right where I am, knowing I deserve none of it. Amazed that it compels me to want to live out His dream for this world and that gives me peace and purpose - where otherwise I have none... amazed at the blessings in my life and that compels me to want to be a blessing to others... I have friends and family that are so dear... As I write I am almost in tears and I am overwhelmed with something... maybe love, maybe grace, maybe the presence of God...
However this morning came to be, I am thankful... chances are if you are reading this then in some crazy way you are a part of my reflection this morning. So thankyou... I pray we would all continue to be drawn into the light of who God is and how is working...
Love and Peace,
-J
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
What a gift...
So this year Diana and I decided we weren't gonna decorate our place for Christmas. No tree, no nativity, no lights... We are just have a lot going on right now and thought it would be easier to not have to "worry" about getting out the decorations, setting them out, and ofcoarse putting them back away in a month...
If I were honest though I could tell she wasn't real happy about this and honestly niether was I. I know Christmas is about more than a tree and lights, but in this life we do have memories... There is something about coming home to a house where things are peacful and there are visible reminders of the time of year you are celebrating...
So... yesterday I got the urge...
I left the office at lunch (hope my boss doesn't read this), went and bought a tree, drug out all of our ornaments and Christmas decorations, and set our place up like there should be angels singing in the corner... I managed somehow (thanks Dan) to get all this done and all the boxes put back away in storage before Diana got home from work...
When she got home the lights were low... tree on... candles lit... and a little Christmas music in the background... Well, needless to say... She was happy...
The name of this post is "what a gift" but it has very little to do with this being such a great gift to her... I wanted to take a minute and confess to whoever would read, that this has so much more to do with the fact that she is such a gift to me, that I would be inspired to do something like this for us to enjoy together... I couldn't imagine life any other way... I am so blessed...
What a gift...
Love and peace,
-J
If I were honest though I could tell she wasn't real happy about this and honestly niether was I. I know Christmas is about more than a tree and lights, but in this life we do have memories... There is something about coming home to a house where things are peacful and there are visible reminders of the time of year you are celebrating...
So... yesterday I got the urge...
I left the office at lunch (hope my boss doesn't read this), went and bought a tree, drug out all of our ornaments and Christmas decorations, and set our place up like there should be angels singing in the corner... I managed somehow (thanks Dan) to get all this done and all the boxes put back away in storage before Diana got home from work...
When she got home the lights were low... tree on... candles lit... and a little Christmas music in the background... Well, needless to say... She was happy...
The name of this post is "what a gift" but it has very little to do with this being such a great gift to her... I wanted to take a minute and confess to whoever would read, that this has so much more to do with the fact that she is such a gift to me, that I would be inspired to do something like this for us to enjoy together... I couldn't imagine life any other way... I am so blessed...
What a gift...
Love and peace,
-J
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Seeking peace...
So this thought of "peace on earth" has been in my head lately. Probably because you hear it around Christmas time so much and probably because I also desire to see it in my life more. Well, right now i'm reading this book Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell and in it he talks about this word, Shalom. Shalom is the Jewish word translated by us as, peace. The only problem I'm finding is "peace" as an English word doesn't really do the true mean of Shalom justice... Peace to us means - The absence of conflict (only mildly attractive)... Shalom in it's fullest, in their culture meant - "the presence of the goodness of God. It's the presence of wholeness, completeness." - (by comparison - in my opinion - worth giving your life to seek after...)
Best I can, tell this "Shalom" is what salvation is all about. It's why Jesus came... For the goodness and greatness of God to be fully displayed and for His Kingdom to come... Sometimes when my view of salvation is reduced to just forgiveness of my sins, I feel as though I end up just focused on myself. If I stop there I wonder how that is going to bring Shalom to the world. I really believe it is not just about about what God has done for us... It also about what God has done/and is doing in us. It's about restoration - us becoming what God created us and the world to be.
I'm not saying that being saved from Hell isn't worth being excited about, but I am saying I more excited about a God that is involved with the here and now. I do know greater things are coming... I just don't want to think I need to wait until I die to experience peace... I want to know I am part of God's plan to restore this earth now. And I think that is what "shalom" is all about.
So just some thoughts from a follower of Christ wanting to see God's dream for my life and this world come to fulfillment. This season when we sing and celebrate... "Peace on Earth and goodwill to men", may we realize we are asking God for and celebrating Shalom in this world and for His Kingdom to come.
What a reason to celebrate this time of year...
Love and Peace (Shalom),
-J
Best I can, tell this "Shalom" is what salvation is all about. It's why Jesus came... For the goodness and greatness of God to be fully displayed and for His Kingdom to come... Sometimes when my view of salvation is reduced to just forgiveness of my sins, I feel as though I end up just focused on myself. If I stop there I wonder how that is going to bring Shalom to the world. I really believe it is not just about about what God has done for us... It also about what God has done/and is doing in us. It's about restoration - us becoming what God created us and the world to be.
I'm not saying that being saved from Hell isn't worth being excited about, but I am saying I more excited about a God that is involved with the here and now. I do know greater things are coming... I just don't want to think I need to wait until I die to experience peace... I want to know I am part of God's plan to restore this earth now. And I think that is what "shalom" is all about.
So just some thoughts from a follower of Christ wanting to see God's dream for my life and this world come to fulfillment. This season when we sing and celebrate... "Peace on Earth and goodwill to men", may we realize we are asking God for and celebrating Shalom in this world and for His Kingdom to come.
What a reason to celebrate this time of year...
Love and Peace (Shalom),
-J
Saturday, December 03, 2005
a prayer for advent
From the blog of one of my number one boys... such truth... I wonder how our holidays would be different if we could set our minds to this...
"At this season in Germany and other parts of Europe, they sell Advent calendars, which count off the days of waiting and praying for Jesus’ Coming –- which is what Advent means. In most of the West, every evening’s television reminds us how many shopping days are left. Suppose we take these advertisements as a call to pray rather than to purchase. I’ll put myself in the mind of Mary and Joseph, focussed on the expected baby, wondering what he will be like and how he will affect my life."
from sacred space
"At this season in Germany and other parts of Europe, they sell Advent calendars, which count off the days of waiting and praying for Jesus’ Coming –- which is what Advent means. In most of the West, every evening’s television reminds us how many shopping days are left. Suppose we take these advertisements as a call to pray rather than to purchase. I’ll put myself in the mind of Mary and Joseph, focussed on the expected baby, wondering what he will be like and how he will affect my life."
from sacred space
Friday, December 02, 2005
Who wants to follow this?
I assure you this post is written with a lite spirit, but still very sincere...
Sometimes when I see stuff like this, I have a tendency to get pretty angry. Most of the time I end of laughing but sometimes cussing still. It definitely wasn't a "salvation moment" (see previous post) to say the least -hah.
Anyways, I know I am nowhere near perfect and I do have my own inconsistencies but I am just wondering how this is received by someone of another faith. Or someone of no faith. I'm sure it wouldn't be, "Wow, I want something like that in my life..." Not saying it's wrong to want to say Merry Christmas... I absolutely love this time of year... But I do doubt Joseph and Mary ran around saying Merry Christmas every year and certainly doubt Jesus was all that concerned about it...
On that note, I realize once gain, I am fairly cynical at times... Jesus probably didn't do that much either... Maybe I should go make a t-shirt... - Crap!!! I did it again...
I do believe it is worth celebrating love coming down to us from heaven. I pray we find a way this Christmas, and every other time during the year, to offer that love in this world. I just have a difficult time seeing how that love really gets communicated wearing a shirt that says "I'm right and you're wrong... deal with it..." From the bottom of my heart, here's to having a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy birthday, or whatever else we maybe celebrating this time of year... May love, truth, and peace find all of us...
-J
Sometimes when I see stuff like this, I have a tendency to get pretty angry. Most of the time I end of laughing but sometimes cussing still. It definitely wasn't a "salvation moment" (see previous post) to say the least -hah.
Anyways, I know I am nowhere near perfect and I do have my own inconsistencies but I am just wondering how this is received by someone of another faith. Or someone of no faith. I'm sure it wouldn't be, "Wow, I want something like that in my life..." Not saying it's wrong to want to say Merry Christmas... I absolutely love this time of year... But I do doubt Joseph and Mary ran around saying Merry Christmas every year and certainly doubt Jesus was all that concerned about it...
On that note, I realize once gain, I am fairly cynical at times... Jesus probably didn't do that much either... Maybe I should go make a t-shirt... - Crap!!! I did it again...
I do believe it is worth celebrating love coming down to us from heaven. I pray we find a way this Christmas, and every other time during the year, to offer that love in this world. I just have a difficult time seeing how that love really gets communicated wearing a shirt that says "I'm right and you're wrong... deal with it..." From the bottom of my heart, here's to having a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy birthday, or whatever else we maybe celebrating this time of year... May love, truth, and peace find all of us...
-J
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Salvation Moments...
So I'm not sure how close to "right theology" this is... so if it's not please forgive me as I admit to be a little more "lost" as of late, but, maybe a little more "found" at the same time... I'll explain...
If you know me well then you know as of late I have really been overtaken by he bigness of God, His story, and how we fit into it. Because of that, I feel as though I am noticing things in life that maybe I mssed before. Well, maybe not missed, but certainly didn't view them as sacred. Things like... the wind blowing, the leaves changing color, friendships, moments of silence, or maybe even small instances of encountered truth or goodness.
Yesterday I was working with my dad in His cabinet shop. We were installing lights in the cieling and wiring them up in the attic above it... It's kinda hard to explain, but my dad and I have always been close but life hasn't been perfect for us to spend all the time together we would have liked... I think we would both tell you we've made some mistakes we wish we could take back but we know we can't. But yesterday as we talked about me growing up, some of the things we'd done together, and some of the things we were looking forward to... it was just beautiful.
In that moment I felt the presence of God.
We also talked about some difficulties he has faced in life and some he is going through right now. Some stuff I don't even feel right talking about here. We just ended that talk with the thought that we just knew things were gonna be ok. Not that everything was gonna work out like we wanted... In fact it could be the oppisite... just that things were gonna be ok. We can find rest and peace in knowing that God has us in His sights... and even in the middle of a storm in our sight, that our Father is still bigger...
In that moment I felt the presences of God.
My point in all of this... Is it possible that this salvation thing is not just a one time occurance. If salvation means recscue, then maybe we are constantly offered not just a salvation from hell but a rescuing from the lifeless and mundane that we would otherwise be living in.
I know this could sound random and it would be easy to dismiss this as merely a "good feeling" you get from time to time... but I need a faith bigger than that... I need to know God is in the mundane waiting to rescue me. I need to know that the sunset outside was made just for us to sit and marvel. I need to know that my wife, family, and friends in my life were given to me as a gift from my creator knowing how we would all intereact with each other.
Again, when I start thinking through some of this I lose myself and realize how much I don't really understand. That is what I mean by how I feel so lost recently. At the same time I feel like the more I just admit I am lost, the more I feel as though I am found and rescued by God...
I pray we never reach a place where we don't need His hand...
Love and Peace,
-J
If you know me well then you know as of late I have really been overtaken by he bigness of God, His story, and how we fit into it. Because of that, I feel as though I am noticing things in life that maybe I mssed before. Well, maybe not missed, but certainly didn't view them as sacred. Things like... the wind blowing, the leaves changing color, friendships, moments of silence, or maybe even small instances of encountered truth or goodness.
Yesterday I was working with my dad in His cabinet shop. We were installing lights in the cieling and wiring them up in the attic above it... It's kinda hard to explain, but my dad and I have always been close but life hasn't been perfect for us to spend all the time together we would have liked... I think we would both tell you we've made some mistakes we wish we could take back but we know we can't. But yesterday as we talked about me growing up, some of the things we'd done together, and some of the things we were looking forward to... it was just beautiful.
In that moment I felt the presence of God.
We also talked about some difficulties he has faced in life and some he is going through right now. Some stuff I don't even feel right talking about here. We just ended that talk with the thought that we just knew things were gonna be ok. Not that everything was gonna work out like we wanted... In fact it could be the oppisite... just that things were gonna be ok. We can find rest and peace in knowing that God has us in His sights... and even in the middle of a storm in our sight, that our Father is still bigger...
In that moment I felt the presences of God.
My point in all of this... Is it possible that this salvation thing is not just a one time occurance. If salvation means recscue, then maybe we are constantly offered not just a salvation from hell but a rescuing from the lifeless and mundane that we would otherwise be living in.
I know this could sound random and it would be easy to dismiss this as merely a "good feeling" you get from time to time... but I need a faith bigger than that... I need to know God is in the mundane waiting to rescue me. I need to know that the sunset outside was made just for us to sit and marvel. I need to know that my wife, family, and friends in my life were given to me as a gift from my creator knowing how we would all intereact with each other.
Again, when I start thinking through some of this I lose myself and realize how much I don't really understand. That is what I mean by how I feel so lost recently. At the same time I feel like the more I just admit I am lost, the more I feel as though I am found and rescued by God...
I pray we never reach a place where we don't need His hand...
Love and Peace,
-J
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