Less Restless???

Certain current situations haven't been resting well with me... That is one reason why I haven't been writing all that much. I have serious issuses with sickness and death, both of which I have encountered recently in family and friendships. Probably because of my imperfection more than anything else I have really been wrestling with God over a few things.

Today, however, was a day of peace in my life in many ways - not just because situations were resloved - more because I believe I have remembered more of who I am in God. I have a few areas in my life where I am experiencing some restlessness (if you know me then this may not be a shocker)... Not anxiousness... not anger (Jeff)... just restlessness...

My dad has been going through a lot and I have trouble being cool with that (even though I know God is at work in the situation). I feel as though he has had a rough hand in life and sometimes I feel as though things are just getting heavier. I want to speak truth into his situation and encourage him. I want to remind him that God has a plan and it is for Himself to be glorified - not for everything to make sense to us. On the other hand... I don't want to be his pastor... I want to be his son.

Today he called me and told me he had been spending some time with God and realized he had been being selfish. He said recently he had been so focused on himself and his situation he forgot that his life really wasn't about him... It was about what God is doing... He also told me he was going to hang out with his pastor for a while and talk through some things. I could barely hold back the tears. Sometimes you just feel God in someone's life at work. I told him I loved him and that was the best news I could have gotten today. - Praise be to God...

I also had coffee with some friends today, one of which I hadn't talked to in a while. He immediately sensed my tenseness (about some other stuff) and proceeded to make fun of me for prolly half the time we were together. Through our laughs though I received a peace about my restlessness. He didn't make me feel bad about it... Almost like a, "You must be normal..." You see, I have been getting frustrated at myself for not just going with the flow and somehow forgot that it's ok to be a little confused sometimes... Our story of faith is filled with others who have been somewhat lost even when they were found and that has been honored by God. - Father help me to follow closely...

Lastly, the two things that have no resolve, my ipod quit working (more on this later... it magically started working again) and my wife is out of town for the night (which is why I am still up at 12:15 in the morning - can't sleep)... - both of those things = bad

Anyways, I find peace in remembering it's ok for things to not make sense. I don't have to have everything "fixed" or "figured out". I know I am on some kind of journey... A good friend reminded me today to continue to use this energy to give these things over to God in prayer and I will continue...


God we ask..
Breathe peace... Breathe Your peace on us... So we might breathe You deep...

Love and Peace,

-J

Fitting for today...

A friend of mine sent me an email this morning with this quote. It's fitting for today and the words have aroma of truth.... I felt it was worth sharing.

Enjoy

-J

"Make a career of humanity...and you will make a greater person of yourself,
a greater nation of your country, and a finer world to live in."
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Last Night...

Our worship gathering last night at Hungry was amazing. We were looking at a passage were Jesus says, "I did not come to judge the world, but to save it." I have to tell you, there is something beautiful in sharing that with people. Something beautiful in saying that Jesus came here to restore your life, he came to restore this world. Whether it's your first time hearing that or you hear it all the time, when you slow down and let it sink in... Thank-you God...

Jeff made the point the we don't necessarily need someone else to judge us. I see what he means... if you're like me then you know you're at least a little screwed up. I find peace, love, and encouragement knowing that it's those moments where Jesus is saying, "I came to offer you salvation... a rescue from a much emptier and meaningless life..."

I pray this week we can all rest in those words of Christ... I hope we get that last part of Him offering us a salvation and that we would come to know what that means in its fullest. I also pray for those areas of our life where we find ourselves judging, that we would take on the words and heart of Christ and realize we too are here not to judge but to save the world... I believe this plays a large part in the prayer of Jesus to our Father... "Thy Kingdom come..."

Love and Peace,

-J

Do yourself a favor...

Listen to this band...


Came accross a single last week so I took a chance and downloaded their CD "How to Save a Life" from itunes... Seriously... if you have some money you want to spend on itunes, get this CD...

Style... well, they're just flat out smooth... smooth and catchy rock... great balance of piano and guitar... you'll look forward to the next time you get in your car to listen... great depth lyrically...

Just in case so you don't miss it...
http://www.thefray.net/

if you've come accross any good music lately, feel free to let me know...

much more awake today,

-J

Sometimes...

i just get real tired... the kinda tired where you're not sleepy, just heavy feeling... but not like overweight...

i guess i feel like in this life i want to do so much... only i feel as though i am only capable of doing so little... i want to make the world a better place only i am part of the problem... i want people to see God through me though i am sometimes ashamed for someone to look at me...

i wonder if me feeling tired sometimes comes from me trying to be something i am not... trying to be a perfect friend, a perfect husband, a perfect leader (if you are my friend/wife/co-worker then you know i am far from these - hah)... i hate getting hit in the face with the fact that i could make mistakes... i feel as though i should have my stuff together better than i do...

i don't know where i get this idea from that i can't make mistakes but it does make me, well, tired...

as i sit and write this though, I am forced to realize it is my own short comings that gently pointed me towards our God anyways... it was the realization that this picture of my life and more importantly the world was not "right" without Him...

so in this moment like many moments before i ask for God to remind me who i am... that i am a child of God... that my perfection comes through what Christ did, not what I do... i ask him to gently offer His embrace... for His comfort... for His peace... i ask him to remind me that i am not meant to be one who does not need a Savior... that i, alone, am not meant to be one who is a "perfect" anything...

i pray tonight as i am tired... that i would rest easy... i pray i could accept my short comings... and maybe even be thankful for them pointing me towards my need for a Savior... i pray i would keep in perspective that i am only a follower, but that i would follow Him closely...

so the journey continues...

So I've always been a secret Chuck Norris fan...

Today I found this here...

I cried... really funny...





1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

3. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

5. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

6. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

7. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

8. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

9. When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.

10. It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

11. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

12. Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

13. Chuck Norris uses all seven letters in Scrabble... Every turn.

14. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

15. Chuck Norris has perfected faster-than-light travel. He won't give the patent to NASA until all of their employees grow beards.

16. Chuck Norris does not use spellcheck. If he happens to misspell a word, he simply changes the acutal spelling of it.

17. Chuck Norris can cause a forest fire just using the magical properties of his beard, he can then, if he chooses, extinguish the fire by roundhouse kicking it.

18. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a waitress because his steak didn't have a beard.

19. Chuck Norris laughed so hard while watching Black Hawk Down that he had to leave the theater. Well, he didn't have to, obviously, but he was feeling especially generous that day because he had already killed so many people.



Hope you enjoy...

-J

Honestly... it's just funny...

You have to watch this...

Cheetah Video


It feels good to laugh!!!

-J

This Morning...

I awoke this morning almost unable to talk... I have had a sore throat/cold settling in for the last few days and yesterday, we at Hungry, had our weekly worship gathering which I usually receive part of the blessing of leading worship. I think between the rehearsal and actual gathering it finished my voice off completely - hah.

So all morning I've not really been able to speak all that much and it has forced me into some reflection - amazing what happens when you're just quiet a bit. So right now I sit amazed at the God of the universe. Amazed at a love and grace that reaches me right where I am, knowing I deserve none of it. Amazed that it compels me to want to live out His dream for this world and that gives me peace and purpose - where otherwise I have none... amazed at the blessings in my life and that compels me to want to be a blessing to others... I have friends and family that are so dear... As I write I am almost in tears and I am overwhelmed with something... maybe love, maybe grace, maybe the presence of God...

However this morning came to be, I am thankful... chances are if you are reading this then in some crazy way you are a part of my reflection this morning. So thankyou... I pray we would all continue to be drawn into the light of who God is and how is working...

Love and Peace,

-J

What a gift...

So this year Diana and I decided we weren't gonna decorate our place for Christmas. No tree, no nativity, no lights... We are just have a lot going on right now and thought it would be easier to not have to "worry" about getting out the decorations, setting them out, and ofcoarse putting them back away in a month...

If I were honest though I could tell she wasn't real happy about this and honestly niether was I. I know Christmas is about more than a tree and lights, but in this life we do have memories... There is something about coming home to a house where things are peacful and there are visible reminders of the time of year you are celebrating...

So... yesterday I got the urge...

I left the office at lunch (hope my boss doesn't read this), went and bought a tree, drug out all of our ornaments and Christmas decorations, and set our place up like there should be angels singing in the corner... I managed somehow (thanks Dan) to get all this done and all the boxes put back away in storage before Diana got home from work...

When she got home the lights were low... tree on... candles lit... and a little Christmas music in the background... Well, needless to say... She was happy...

The name of this post is "what a gift" but it has very little to do with this being such a great gift to her... I wanted to take a minute and confess to whoever would read, that this has so much more to do with the fact that she is such a gift to me, that I would be inspired to do something like this for us to enjoy together... I couldn't imagine life any other way... I am so blessed...

What a gift...

Love and peace,

-J

Seeking peace...

So this thought of "peace on earth" has been in my head lately. Probably because you hear it around Christmas time so much and probably because I also desire to see it in my life more. Well, right now i'm reading this book Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell and in it he talks about this word, Shalom. Shalom is the Jewish word translated by us as, peace. The only problem I'm finding is "peace" as an English word doesn't really do the true mean of Shalom justice... Peace to us means - The absence of conflict (only mildly attractive)... Shalom in it's fullest, in their culture meant - "the presence of the goodness of God. It's the presence of wholeness, completeness." - (by comparison - in my opinion - worth giving your life to seek after...)

Best I can, tell this "Shalom" is what salvation is all about. It's why Jesus came... For the goodness and greatness of God to be fully displayed and for His Kingdom to come... Sometimes when my view of salvation is reduced to just forgiveness of my sins, I feel as though I end up just focused on myself. If I stop there I wonder how that is going to bring Shalom to the world. I really believe it is not just about about what God has done for us... It also about what God has done/and is doing in us. It's about restoration - us becoming what God created us and the world to be.

I'm not saying that being saved from Hell isn't worth being excited about, but I am saying I more excited about a God that is involved with the here and now. I do know greater things are coming... I just don't want to think I need to wait until I die to experience peace... I want to know I am part of God's plan to restore this earth now. And I think that is what "shalom" is all about.

So just some thoughts from a follower of Christ wanting to see God's dream for my life and this world come to fulfillment. This season when we sing and celebrate... "Peace on Earth and goodwill to men", may we realize we are asking God for and celebrating Shalom in this world and for His Kingdom to come.

What a reason to celebrate this time of year...

Love and Peace (Shalom),

-J

a prayer for advent

From the blog of one of my number one boys... such truth... I wonder how our holidays would be different if we could set our minds to this...

"At this season in Germany and other parts of Europe, they sell Advent calendars, which count off the days of waiting and praying for Jesus’ Coming –- which is what Advent means. In most of the West, every evening’s television reminds us how many shopping days are left. Suppose we take these advertisements as a call to pray rather than to purchase. I’ll put myself in the mind of Mary and Joseph, focussed on the expected baby, wondering what he will be like and how he will affect my life."


from sacred space

Who wants to follow this?

I assure you this post is written with a lite spirit, but still very sincere...

Sometimes when I see stuff like this, I have a tendency to get pretty angry. Most of the time I end of laughing but sometimes cussing still. It definitely wasn't a "salvation moment" (see previous post) to say the least -hah.

Anyways, I know I am nowhere near perfect and I do have my own inconsistencies but I am just wondering how this is received by someone of another faith. Or someone of no faith. I'm sure it wouldn't be, "Wow, I want something like that in my life..." Not saying it's wrong to want to say Merry Christmas... I absolutely love this time of year... But I do doubt Joseph and Mary ran around saying Merry Christmas every year and certainly doubt Jesus was all that concerned about it...

On that note, I realize once gain, I am fairly cynical at times... Jesus probably didn't do that much either... Maybe I should go make a t-shirt... - Crap!!! I did it again...

I do believe it is worth celebrating love coming down to us from heaven. I pray we find a way this Christmas, and every other time during the year, to offer that love in this world. I just have a difficult time seeing how that love really gets communicated wearing a shirt that says "I'm right and you're wrong... deal with it..." From the bottom of my heart, here's to having a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy birthday, or whatever else we maybe celebrating this time of year... May love, truth, and peace find all of us...

-J

Salvation Moments...

So I'm not sure how close to "right theology" this is... so if it's not please forgive me as I admit to be a little more "lost" as of late, but, maybe a little more "found" at the same time... I'll explain...

If you know me well then you know as of late I have really been overtaken by he bigness of God, His story, and how we fit into it. Because of that, I feel as though I am noticing things in life that maybe I mssed before. Well, maybe not missed, but certainly didn't view them as sacred. Things like... the wind blowing, the leaves changing color, friendships, moments of silence, or maybe even small instances of encountered truth or goodness.

Yesterday I was working with my dad in His cabinet shop. We were installing lights in the cieling and wiring them up in the attic above it... It's kinda hard to explain, but my dad and I have always been close but life hasn't been perfect for us to spend all the time together we would have liked... I think we would both tell you we've made some mistakes we wish we could take back but we know we can't. But yesterday as we talked about me growing up, some of the things we'd done together, and some of the things we were looking forward to... it was just beautiful.

In that moment I felt the presence of God.

We also talked about some difficulties he has faced in life and some he is going through right now. Some stuff I don't even feel right talking about here. We just ended that talk with the thought that we just knew things were gonna be ok. Not that everything was gonna work out like we wanted... In fact it could be the oppisite... just that things were gonna be ok. We can find rest and peace in knowing that God has us in His sights... and even in the middle of a storm in our sight, that our Father is still bigger...

In that moment I felt the presences of God.

My point in all of this... Is it possible that this salvation thing is not just a one time occurance. If salvation means recscue, then maybe we are constantly offered not just a salvation from hell but a rescuing from the lifeless and mundane that we would otherwise be living in.

I know this could sound random and it would be easy to dismiss this as merely a "good feeling" you get from time to time... but I need a faith bigger than that... I need to know God is in the mundane waiting to rescue me. I need to know that the sunset outside was made just for us to sit and marvel. I need to know that my wife, family, and friends in my life were given to me as a gift from my creator knowing how we would all intereact with each other.

Again, when I start thinking through some of this I lose myself and realize how much I don't really understand. That is what I mean by how I feel so lost recently. At the same time I feel like the more I just admit I am lost, the more I feel as though I am found and rescued by God...

I pray we never reach a place where we don't need His hand...

Love and Peace,

-J

Really Random...

But worth the post... anytime a good friend is in a picture like this it's worth taking a look at... I love you Josh!!!



Hope you all had a good weekend...

-J

NC State vs. Maryland...

Saturday I had the priviledge of enjoying the game in one of the luxury boxes in Vaughn Towers at Carter Finely... Definately a cool experience to say the least... ok, I'm a little ashamed of how giddy I was... I mean, I love football... even more NC State football... The only problem is, I have this deal, where alot of people in one area around me makes me odly uncomfortable... I have some strange fear of mobs (more of tight spaces really)... it's like this - "hey, there are alot of people around me and I have no idea if they are all about to start getting really close to me... then it could be incredibly hard to breathe..." - so that really simplifies it and makes me sound strange, but at this point in my life I am ok with that... All that to say, sometimes it is hard to enjoy an entire football game live...

This was totally different. It was honestly like sitting in my living room with my wife and a few close friends... the only difference is when I look out my window from my recliner there is a live football game going on... CRAZY!!!

It made it all the better that the wolfpack pulled it out... such a good time...


Nice set-up...


Hard work...



Enjoying the game...



Pretty good seats...


A full fridge...


Good view...


lots of fun...

Love and Peace...

-J

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving... I hope you're able to spend it with the ones that you love. We truly have som much to be thankful for.

Last year at this time my wife and I had just left out good friends in Texas house and we were in LA celebrating Thanksgiving with the Ashdowns (actually they weren't the Ashdowns when we were there - hah)... Great friends on both of those stops of whom I actually miss very much...

Today Diana and I are laying low... We wanted to use this time to relax and really reflect on all we have to be thankful for... So, we're hanging out... eating some sushi and chinese takeout on a day where most of the country is eating turkey... I feel a new tradition coming on - hah...

This evening we'll prolly stop by my mom's house and say hello... That should be good times... I do miss not being able to Diana's parents on certain days but Christmas time is here now and we're gonna spend some time with them then...

Wishing you all a great day of being thankful and most likely enjoying some great food, time with family, and time with friends... Seriously if you are reading this and it's prolly b/c we on some level know each other. So, in light of that, I am thankful for our friendship... I have no doubt that in some way you have impacted my life for the better...

Praising God from whom all blessings flow...

-J

Amazed...

So it is Sunday evening about 10:30pm and I am thinking of how amazing it is to see God move. Within Hungry we have been in this series in Genesis for the last 8 weeks with the idea that maybe by looking at how our story with God began, we could get a feel for where He was leading us now. Words can't express what a journey the last 8 weeks have been for me (and from the way it seems a lot of others also).

While there is no way (really no point) I could sum up the time we've spent engaing this book in the Bible I will tell you my view of God and relationship with Him has changed. And I think what is so impactful to me is that I know I am not the only one. We (Hungry) have this desire to seek God and live out His dream for the church. Our desire is to do that together, in community, with one another.

Tonight we spent time reflecting, as a community, where we have been and how it has impacted us. Everyone there laid out their thumb print on a piece of paper and held it throughout the night while Jeff summed up where we had been. We talked about how this was God's story and how we fit into it. We talked about how there is something amazingly beautiful about this story that we call the gospel and how that part of the story impacts everyone of us. But, just as each of us has a different thumb print, it probably impacts us each in a different way.

So as a response to all of this we spent time in worship and writing on those pieces of paper (around the thumb print) how this gospel has reached us over the last eight weeks. What we had at the end of the night was a beautiful collection of how God is moving in the midst of our community. This was so amazing in realizing that the gospel reaches each of us right where we are. Jeff shared a few of them as we all left celebrating where God is leading us. Jeff said he was gonna post some of them on his blog here. I encourage you to check them out.

Well to wrap up these thoughts, I just want to say thanks to all who are apart of this community. What a joy it is living life and serving with each of you. The story of this community wouldn't be the same without each person who engages life here. For that I am thankful. I also am thankful to our God who beckons us to live in His story... a story of hope, a story of wonder, and a story of love...

I pray we would all be found by this story of God...

humbly,

-J

U2 tonight...

Last night Diana and I came to Augusta to stay with our friends Jeremy and Terra (definately on the greatest people in the world list). We had a great tour of Augusta from Terra and found a good pizza spot for lunch - real good micro brews...

Tonight the Burry's and us are heading to Atlanta for, say what... U2!!!! SOOOOO Stoked... Honestly I can't wait... we're leaving in about 20 minutes...

I'm sure most of us have something in our lives that you feel like is a gift just for you... I don't mean for no one else, but I mean something about that gift speaks to your soul - right to the core of who you are... There's a few of those gifts in my life... my wife, family, certain friends, God's church, and music... And this band has a large role in the latter... and in a wierd way, a mix of all...

Thanks to the giver of all gifts...

Tonight should be a night to remember... for a long time...

-J

I know I live in the ghetto, but…

This is really funny… I came home wed. night to find a lady who lives below me with her rear windshield knocked out. It was obvious it happened there (glass everywhere) so I assumed she didn’t know about it. It was 10:30pm so I was afraid of waking her 7 yr. old son but also knew she wouldn’t want to find out at 6:30am when she usually leaves in the morning. (not to the funny part yet – sorry)

So Diana and I were helping her clean it up and I got her window covered with duct tape and trash bags. While we were cleaning she mentioned earlier she saw a guy rolling a TV behind our building (said it was too heavy to carry). Right about then another guy pulled up to place and mentioned his friend was on his way home b/c he received a phone call saying his front door was open.

So… I suggested he go a make sure his TV was still there and to no surprise… it was gone (along with speakers, x-box, and audio receiver). So when the guy got home we asked the lady whose car got broken into what the guy looked like. Sounded a lot like a guy who we knew lived in the building next door.

Next we called the police but since it took them over 50 minutes to get there (different post altogether), my neighbor decided to go and look in the back window of the guy who is now… our suspect. Two minutes later he walks up yelling… “the @#*%$ has my stuff sitting on his back porch…”

And the winner for the 2005 Trailwood Heights least smartest crime… the guy who lives in the building next to me…

So seriously… this guy robbed his neighbor who lived 100yrds away and left the stuff sitting outside on his back porch… Unbelievable… it’s official… I live in crazy town. I know there are some problems with me making light of a troubled guy in a troubled place to live… but sometimes life makes you laugh…

The cops showed up and went through whatever normal procedures are... not sure of the final outcome, yet...

The night turned out well as ten of us from our apartment building ended up hanging out til 2:00 in the morning. It was nice to hang out with neighbors that I spend nowhere close to enough time with. So that was the up side to the evening…

Until next time… Don’t steal a car and hide it in your driveway two doors down…

Love and Peace,

-J

A beautiful story...

I try to spend time on a regular basis (not as much as I would like) reading this book called the Bible. Rarely do I leave a time spent with it and not be blown away by how it speaks to me. And honestly, it's not in a sense of "I should do this" or "I shouldn't do that". In fact when I hear it taught that way it sometimes loses that "sense of awe".

What I am talking about is how this book... this story of how God has interacted with man since the beginning of time (not sure I really understand what that means) still speaks straight to my heart. There is such a beauty in seeing it as... "this is how all this stuff got started and I am still apart of it all today". Within Hungry, our community here in Raleigh, we are going through a series on Genesis. I was talking to my buddy Jeff and telling him, to me the most amazing thing has been just realizing that this is how we got where we are. This is how God moves, this is how people have responded, and it still effects us today.

It's inspiring to know I am in some way tied into the promise God made to Abraham. Just that alone lures me to want to know God more. I want Him to lead me the way I have seen Him lead others. I don't have this desire or guilt riddin conscious to "be good". I just want to see God move in my life and more importantly in this world like I have heard of Him doing since the beginning.

To me, it seems God started this plan of redemption and rescuing of all things so long ago and He is still chasing that dream today... And we are still apart of that story...

To me it's so beautiful... and compelling...

Maybe just something to think about... prolly more on this later...

Love you all...

-J