Is it because I winned?

My name is Jason... and I have a problem.

Why do i like to play John Madden 05 on my Play Station so much. I am in my 14th season and I haven't lost a game in 10 seasons (except for one preseason game 4 seasons ago when my 3rd string QB threw an interception with a minute left and I was down by 2). I have averaged close to 47 points/game for the last 10 seasons and my defense has always been in the top 5 only allowing an average of 10 points/game.

So.. why do I enjoy playing so much??? I mean - I give it my all. I work hard every play. I want to win. I love scoring points. I love knowing I did something right.

Maybe it's cause I have a "job" where I may never know fully if what I am doing is "good" or "working". I don't think I would like to be in a top 5 Pastors list. I don't want to score more points than Vintage 21 or Hope Community Church, or Mars Hill.

But - I love to play.. and win at John Madden. I love to do my job and accomplish. I love to see results.

Why???

Prolly a deeper reason than I care to really know... but maybe not... possibly more to come.

Maybe I am just a nerd...

sincerely,

-Jason

Jogging this morning..

On my iPod... Amazing... Please enjoy...

I want to trip inside your head
Spend the day there…
To hear the things you haven’t said
And see what you might see

I want to hear you when you call
Do you feel anything at all?
I want to see your thoughts take shape
And walk right out

Freedom has a scent
Like the top of a new born baby’s head

The songs are in your eyes
I see them when you smile
I’ve had enough I’m not giving up
On a miracle drug

Verse 2
Of science and the human heart
There is no limit
There is no failure here sweetheart
Just when you quit…

I am you and you are mine
Love makes nonsense of space
And time… will disappear
Love and logic keep us clear
Reason is on our side, love…

The songs are in your eyes
I see them when you smile
I’ve had enough of romantic love
I’d give it up, yeah, I’d give it up
For a miracle, a miracle drug, a miracle drug

Bridge
God I need your help tonight

Beneath the noise
Below the din
I hear a voice
It’s whispering
In science and in medicine
“I was a stranger
You took me in”

The songs are in your eyes
I see them when you smile
I’ve had enough of romantic love
I’d give it up, yeah, I’d give it up
For a miracle, miracle drug

Miracle, miracle drug

-U2

peace,

-Jason

I read this quote today...

Says, Rodney Stark, who is largely considered to be the prevailing expert on the church during the beginning of "Christendom" (Edict of Milan - when Constantine made Christianity the official state religion - AD 313)

"Far too long, historians have accepted the claim that the conversion of the Emperor Constantine (ca. 285 - 337) caused the triumph of Christianity. To the contrary, he destroyed its most attractive and dynamic aspects, turning a high intensity, grassroots movement into an arrogant institution controlled by an elite who often managed to be both brutal and lax."

Interesting thought... (Thanks Rodney)

I feel it... I know in many ways it's true. I know in some ways our "institutions" get in the way of "movement". I pray we encourage, empower, and unleash the world around us to live the gospel.

I also bet the guy was just doing what he thought was best. Whether it was best for him or best for the Church I dont know but who knows what I would have done. I have trouble ordering at a drive through.

anyways.. just an interesting thought that could have an impact on how we view our faith.

peace,

-J

pause

A beautiful day...
Given freely.
Recieved truly as a gift.
Thank you.

Shalom.

Fun Weekend is a comin'...

Tonight Diana and I are driving to Asheboro at go camping and tomorrow we are going to spend the day at the zoo. I am soooo looking forward to it. I can't wait for fire tonight... the cool morning air tomorrow morning... and the monkeys in the afternoon... YES!!!

peace,

-J

ps
in other non related weekend news... props to Traci Rowe who graduates Sunday with her Masters from every one's favorite local university... NCSU

I have linked to her blog which she has not yet written in an attempt to get her to write... in her own timing of course... I only do this b/c she is borderline genius, well thought, loves God, and has much to say for which we should listen...

pss
Congrats to Julie and Genevieve who are also graduating from Meredith this weekend

pss
what have I started... congrats to everyone else who is doing something exciting this weekend

Any thoughts form someone smarter than me?

My current vehicle gets ~12 mpg. It's a 1999 Ford Explorer. I live in the city and do not need 4 wheel drive vehicle that drinks the petroleum out of the earth as I would devour a Peanut Butter Fudge shake from Cook Out.

I am planning on selling it for ~$6,000. I am considering buying a road bike and just using that for a while. Most everything I do is within 5 miles of where I live and my wife has a car.

I am thinking of getting another vehicle but cannont decide what route to go. I thought maybe Hybrid. I know the arguements about they dont pay for themselves but this is a "use less gas" decision as much as a financial one. I also am very interested in a 2002 VW diesel that gets around 40 mpg. The Honda Hybrid I am looking at and this VW are both around $11,000. That is quite a bit of money - but would really cut down on the gas consumption - I spend around $200 - $230/month in gas currently. The money I save in gas would be close to what I would be paying monthly on the extra $6,000 in car payments.

The other option is to buy an old beater for ~$5,000 that gets decent gas mileage. But I am very interested in diesel and that will be hard to find for that price. Also long term diesel cars are convertable to run on "veggie oil" which is something my brother is currently doing.

Of course a car is a luxury item... no need to remind me of that... so is $12,000 car... all things of coarse are relative.. i could just get a beat up ride but this i snot just a money decision.. it's a "what is best for the earth" given my living requirements...

any thoughts from the well informed?

-J

This morning

I went to the gym and lifted weights with Alan Wilser (who just got back from the Nicaragua.) We were joking around with one of the women at the front desk for sometime while he was joining the gym and everything seemed normal... Ya know, people laughing... telling jokes, etc. Then for some reason Alan mentioned that I was his Pastor and that apparently was the funniest of all the jokes to this young lady. "Now you guys are really the funny guys!" she shouted... I wasn't sure how to take this and honestly am still kind of iffy about the whole thing. :)

So then that got me thinking about how I (followers of Chirst) should be percieved within the community I live in (downtown raleigh.) I guess there is no "right way" to be perceived but I was thinking after I left about a quote I read in, I believe, Blue Like Jazz where someone made the statement... "How come every time I meet a Christian Pastor, I feel like I have met a CEO and every time I meet a Buddhist I feel like I have met a holy man...?"

Don't get me wrong... I know we should connect with the world around us as Jesus did and sometimes appearing "holy" could be reason to keep a distance... but I wonder... Maybe there is nothing wrong with being a bit "what ever it is" that allows someone to feel they have encountered a "holy man". Not for the sake of being something that you're not but at least being what you are. For a while I felt like it was only acceptable to be a "professional" or a "hand shaker and a winker" if you wanted to "lead something"... but maybe there is something to embracing peace that could be a bit more attractive than having everything together...

that was a rant... I am trying to keep the posts short... hard to get all of this out in a short post... I am just saying - I dont want to be the norm. I dont want to be a professional Christian that shakes hands and kisses babys. I want to be a revolutionary the way that Jesus was... I find myself wondering how he would be perceived. I gotta believe people followed him around for reasons other than nice clothes, nice cars, or a great smile...

(please don't post a comment saying something like "Just be yourself.."

thanks for listening... feel free to say/write anything else...

peace...

-J

Happy Birthday!!!

To my best friend in the whole wide world!!!!

26 years ago today, my bride was born. Praise our God!!!

You are the most tangible view of grace I have in my life. There aren't enough words. My heart is yours.

I adore you.

forever,

-Jason

Day of breath...

So Wednesday... I got up early, packed up my surfboard and headed to the beach for the day. I left around 5:45am and got there a couple hours after that. With the exception of a brief conversation with Diana, my dad, and one quick phone message to a dear friend - I didn't speak one word out loud til after 3pm. I was desperately in need of some solitude but the silence... it was the silence in and of itself was so amazing. Just listening to the wind, the waves, the sea gulls, and feeling the voice of God. You really hear things in a different way when you are just still.

I don't think I realized just how bad I needed that time. I know in my heart it's good to get away but for some reason I don't make enough time for it. If nothing else, it's good just to realize the world doesn't need you as much as you think (pretend/feel) it does. I came home that night and everything was fine. I had better conversations with my wife. I felt like I was actually breathing.

I am starting to realize that there is something inside of me that makes me "on the go" alot... It's not because I am always doing good things as I feel I am probably more inefficient than I would like to admit. This probably has to do with going to fast to slow down and think through what I'm actually doing... So... Friends of mine... you have my permission to ask me when was my last day to "just breathe"... Hold me accountable... my life, my wife, our friendship, our church, and if I pray the world - would be better for it.

Peace,

-J